Archive for the ‘Articles for Her’ Category

« Older Entries

Before You And Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

Are you considering getting back together with your ex boyfriend?  The idea probably seems quite exciting, especially if both of you are remembering all of the good times that you had together.  But you should definitely do some serious thinking before you and your boyfriend decide to get back together.

Many couples do successfully reunite and end up with very strong relationships after a break-up.  However, some couples end up getting back together for the wrong reasons or without fully dealing with the factors that led to the dissolution of the relationship.  If you want your rejuvenated relationship to be a success, make sure that you first take the time to consider the following issues:

• Old wounds need to be healed.

In other words, there was some reason why you and your boyfriend broke up in the first place; has this issue been resolved?  If not, it is likely that your relationship may fail again.  You and your boyfriend must find a way to either deal with the problems that led to the break-up or you must jointly decide that the break-up issues are no longer conflicts.  It isn’t enough to simply have regrets about the relationship and how it ended; things must change.

• Let go of old expectations.

If you and your boyfriend decide to give the relationship another try, you will need to learn to treat it as a new relationship–not as an extension of your old one.  This doesn’t mean that you need to completely start fresh; however, you do need to rebuild trust and friendship.  You will need to reassess your goals as a couple and work on creating a new life together.

• Don’t let emotions make decisions about reuniting or about the new relationship.

Of course it can feel quite thrilling to talk again with your ex, and you both may be feeling the euphoria of falling for each other once again.  Yet allowing those feelings to control whether you and your boyfriend get back together could be a mistake.  You both need to think rationally about how a new relationship would be–without letting the floods of emotion overcome you.  Similarly, when making decisions about the new relationship, it is best to do so calmly and with sensible and reasonable thought.  If either of you allow emotions to cloud your judgment, you may come to regret it later on.

If you really want to get back together with your boyfriend, make sure that you and he are both really ready for another try at the relationship.  By doing so, you could end up saving yourself a great deal of heartache if, for some reason, the relationship does not fare well again.

It may seem quite easy to believe that your boyfriend has changed because of your great desire to reignite the relationship; however, if it isn’t actually true you will just be setting yourself up for failure.  Instead, set yourself up for success by being honest with your boyfriend and making sure that the two of you do not follow the same path that led to your first break-up.

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

Do I Want My Husband Back

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

If you ask yourself, “Do I want my husband back?” and the answer is yes, then you’re one of millions of women who have been through a break up and decided that they didn’t want to go through with it after all. Maybe you didn’t want it from the start, or maybe you did and now you’ve changed your mind. “Do I want my husband back?” is one of those questions that make you consider a great many things.

A lot of it has to do with isolation and loneliness. That’s not to say that you only think about taking your husband back because you’re lonely. Not true. But the loneliness that often comes after a breakup or a divorce can be quite a shot for anyone. “Do I want my husband back?” often arises out of the uncomfortable shock of finally being alone.

You should never take your husband back because of fear or boredom. A common fear is the fear of being alone and having face life’s difficulties alone. But the fear of being alone isn’t a good enough reason to decide you want to get back together with your husband.

If you stay together out of fear, the relationship can’t possibly grow naturally. Doesn’t he deserve to be with someone who genuinely wants to be with him? Not someone who stays because she believes there is no choice and they have to stay together.

You both deserve a better and more fulfilling relationship that one of obligation like that. Two people should be together because they want to be together, not for any other reasons.

So if you ask, ‘Do I want my husband back?” and the answer is yes, you really do, not just because you feel it’s expected that you be married, then you should try to get him. There are a few different ways you can head for this goal.

Be the woman you were when you got married. Of course, it’s impossible to go back in time completely. But all you have to do is essentially be the same person in some of your more pleasant actions.

When you first got together there was something about you that attracted him. Whether it was that you were sweet, thoughtful or attentive depends on the person’s perception.

Maybe over the last several years of the marriage, you haven’t been nearly as attentive as you could be. You should at least be happy that he would never have noticed the drop in affection, if you hadn’t been so good at lavishing it on him in the first place. But once he’s had that great attention, it becomes obvious when it’s gone.

And it’s easy for it to disappear after a while. We have a terrible tendency to take the people we love for granted all the time.  Often that’s one of the factors leading up to a break up or divorce. If you ask yourself, “Do I want my husband back?” and you do, make an effort to not take him for granted anymore.

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

Get Guy Back When You’re In A Bad Position

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

Traci wanted to get guy back.  She wasn’t in a good position to do so however.  She had accused her ex, Cory, of flirting with her best friend.  Traci knew that Cory was just being friendly, but she was having a bad day and she took it out on Cory.

Now Traci is contrite and she wants to get guy back.  Unfortunately, the guy doesn’t want to be gotten back.  He wants nothing further to do with Traci.  What’s a girl to do?

First of all, Traci needs to apologize.  This needs to be a sincere apology.  If he doesn’t want to listen to her, she should write a note.

There are three components to a genuine apology.  First of all, there is a recognition that what she did was wrong.  Then, there is an introspection as to why she did it.  Finally, there is a commitment to not do it again.

For instance, Traci needs to say “Brian, I was wrong to accuse you of flirting with Sandy.  I was feeling insecure for a number of reasons that had nothing to do with you and I snapped.  I realize that I hurt you badly and I’m sorry.  In the future, I will be careful not to lash out at you when I’m feeling crummy about myself.”

Next, she needs to sit back and allow Brian to process what she’s said.  This may just take a few minutes or it could take days.  If he’s not initially receptive, she should not contact him until he contacts her.  That means that she shouldn’t call, email, or text him.  She shouldn’t engage him on social networks.  She shouldn’t send him gifts or letters.

She should also avoid having friends intercede for her.  Having a friend contact Brian would be the same thing as Traci contacting him herself and there is always the possibility that the friend could (deliberately or not) miscommunicate the message.

Instead, Traci should wait for Brian to contact her.  He will, eventually, if only to get his stuff that she has back.  This is Traci’s opportunity to strike.

She should keep things light.  She shouldn’t go overboard and tell him how much she’s missed him or how sorry she is about the situation.

Instead, she should bring up some of the positive experiences they’ve shared.  If that goes over well, she can talk about the little things that she’s missed such as his smile or the way he always holds the umbrella when it rains.  Then, she should suggest they meet for a not-date date such as a short get together at a coffee shop.

If he is agreeable to coffee, they can discuss more weighty matters.  She can apologize again at that point and recommit to not making the same error again.  At that point, she can say that she misses having him in her life and would like to get back together.

Traci has let Brian blow off any steam he had about the incident.  She has also given him both time and reasons to want her back.  At that point, she doesn’t have to do much work to get guy back.

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

How To Become A B*tch

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

Just a quick note to tell you about a brand new info product available for you.

This is an ebook for girls that wants to be a man magnet!

Just go see what’s it all about…  Click Here!

Tags: ,
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

All About Calling Men

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

Here is a new product that can help you before calling him. It is called “All About Calling Men: The Way You Handle Calls, Emails and Text Messages Will Seriously Affect How Much Your Man Wants You!”.

Inside “Calling Men” You Will Find Out:

  • What a man won’t tell you, but will tell others – find out how he really feels about the woman who calls him when he’s not even calling her
  • What goes through a man’s mind when you call him
  • How the way you handle calls and emails will make him want you more!
  • Why you are putting yourself in a lower power position when you initiate the calling
  • The negative messages your call can be sending him
  • When and how you benefit from NOT calling him – and how your relationship benefits
  • What to do about emailing  – does email count as a phone call?
  • What to do about text messages and instant messages
  • What should you do when you can plainly see that he’s “online”?
  • By the way – what are the real reasons that men don’t call??
  • How can you get him to ask for your number?

Check it out by clicking the banner:

Hope you find this report useful.

Tags: ,
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

Help, I Want My Husband Back

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

Do you tell people, “I want my husband back?” It’s not uncommon to want your husband back after you split up, no matter how back things were when you were together. So before you absolutely decide that yes, “I want my husband back,” you should think long and hard about the way things were before you split up.

Think about why you split up in the first place. Was it your fault, his, or both your faults? Sometimes it’s hard to tell whose fault it was because so many little things seemed to contribute to the break up.

If there’s no obvious reason like one of you had an affair or somehow betrayed the other, then there’ s a better chance that your mantra of, “I want my husband back” will work out!

If there was an affair or a really big and hurtful problem like that, getting back together will be more of a challenge. But you can still do it, if you both want it and you both work hard at it. If you both don’t want it, it’s pretty unlikely that it will happen.

Have you asked your husband if he’s interested in getting back together? Do you even know his feelings about it? You might be surprised to find that while you’re saying, “I want my husband back!” he’s not that desperate to get back into the relationship.

That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you, by the way. Just that something in the relationship wasn’t right for him and he’s no longer afraid to admit that. As bad as that sounds, it doesn’t mean that the relationship can’t be fixed.

If you can get him onboard and willing to try some of these techniques, try reading a book about marriage problems out loud to each other over breakfast or in the evening before bed. If you’re reading it at the same time, then it’s easier for you to discuss what you’ve just read while it’s all fresh on your mind.

Don’t be upset or alarmed if he doesn’t have any interest in going to counseling. While this does make it harder to get your man back, it can still be done. You can go to the counseling on your own and learn the techniques you need to communicate with him properly.

You can teach him these techniques, either overtly (here, let me show you) or covertly, by simply using them every time you interact. Even if he has no interest in learning anything you learned in class, the very act of doing the exercises yourself can give you a sense of power you didn’t have before.

Going to the counseling can make you feel like you have some power in the relationship, and can influence it either for the better or the worse. And since you’re alone with the counselor you can talk about some private issues that bother you, as well. Soon, “I want my husband back” could turn into, “I got my husband back.”

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

Getting an Ex Back When You Were the One Who Dumped Him

Tuesday, January 5th, 2010

Getting an ex back is hard if you were the one being dumped.  But imagine how you would feel if you were the one who did the dumping?  That is the position that Aimee found herself in and she had to go about getting an ex back.

Aimee’s so called friend Renee told her that her boyfriend Jaime had been sleeping with another woman.  Without verifying the information or even asking Jaime about it, Aimee confronted Jaime and accused him of having an affair.  This took Jaime by complete surprise because he had no inkling that the rumor was circulating, and he didn’t do a good job of defending himself.  Aimee unceremoniously dumped him.

A few days later, Aimee found out that Renee had been lying for her own jealous, petty reasons.  Now Aimee was in a quandary.  Getting an ex back was important to her, but she also wanted to save face.

Aimee called up Jaime and explained what had happened.  But Jaime was in no mood to take her back.  Aimee had hurt him by not trusting him and not even talking things over with him.

Getting an ex back took all of Aimee’s wiles.

First of all, Aimee wrote Jaime a long letter of apology.  She took responsibility for what happened and promised that it would never happen again.  She reminded Jaime that they had a long history together and that they had shared some beautiful times.  She said that she didn’t want to throw all of that away.  She told him that the reason she acted the way she did was because she loved him and couldn’t stand the though of his being with another woman.  The thought of losing him forever was painful.

After she had mailed the letter, she didn’t bother him with constant texts or phone calls.  She figured that getting an ex back after a situation like this one required that she give Jaime his space.

When she did run into Jaime, she was as nice as she could be.  She worked positive memories into the conversation casually.  She didn’t apologize any further though.  She had told him both in person and in writing that she was sorry and let it go at that.

One day, Aimee got tickets for Jaime’s favorite band which was in town for one concert only.  She asked Jaime to go with her “just as friends.”  In this way, she opened the door to a future relationship without crowding him.

Getting an ex back after you have behaved badly and dumped him is difficult.  Not only do you have the embarrassment of having to apologize, but you almost have to start from scratch again on the relationship.  Rebuilding the trust is a key component in this period.

Jaime and Aimee did eventually get back together.  Jaime came to see that Aimee’s outburst was the act of a jealous woman who deeply loved him.  He saw it as a mistake that they could both grow from.  Their relationship became stronger than ever.

Aimee took the right approach to getting an ex back.

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

Can You And Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

Tuesday, January 5th, 2010

If you’ve broken up, you probably wonder can you and your boyfriend get back together? Sadly, there’s no one right answer to that question. It depends a lot on you and your boyfriend, and the dynamic of your relationship. If you wonder can you and your boyfriend get back together, you may want to speak to a counselor and let them evaluate your situation.

Marriage and couple counselors have heard all sorts of problems and sorts of reasons from both the husbands and wives. They’re experienced in dealing with these sorts of conflicts and may be able to help you. If you ask them, should me and my boyfriend get back together? you might be surprised at their answer.

The goal of marriage and couple counselors is to save relationships. Unfortunately, many of these programs aren’t that good at really diagnosing the problem. If either half of the couple lies, it makes it even more difficult for them to treat you.

But once they get to the bottom of things, you might be surprised how accurate they are. And since their goal is to help you handle your relationship, the word divorce isn’t thrown around. If you go to counseling talking about divorce it might come up. Or if they really feel that you’re in a dangerous or destructive relationship.

But for the most part, their aim is to keep you together or get you back together in a way that you can both be happy. The hardest part of you and your boyfriend get back together will probably be getting him to go to the counseling in the first place.

The good news is that he doesn’t actually have to go. You can decide to go to couple counseling on your own. It might not be as effective, but it does a couple of very good things for you when you’re trying to get back together.

First, it shows him that you’re serious. If he won’t go and you opt to without him, then it seems to him that you’re really trying hard to change something about your relationship. Why else would you go alone to a session meant for two people?

Second, you can learn some important tips and techniques in counseling that you can start putting to use right away. Just because he’s not going to counseling that doesn’t mean that you can’t improve the relationship by leaps and bounds.

You’ll learn communication skills and persuasion skills that can make a real difference in how the two of you relate to each other. And if he sees you going to counseling and better able to handle yourself in general without getting angry with him, that could actually prompt him to decide to go, too.

You have to set the example and hope he follows if you’re the only that will voluntarily go. Whether you and your boyfriend get back together or not, you will have benefited personally from the skills you learned in counseling so it’s definitely worth going.

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

Boyfriend Break Up. Is It Possible to Get Ex Back?

Sunday, December 13th, 2009

Did your boyfriend break up with you?  This is a rough time in your life.  You are probably hurting and want to know what caused your boyfriend break up.

First of all, while you can use this time to look at yourself and where you are in your life, don’t do too much introspection.  The truth behind why your boyfriend break up with you is that he had his own issues.  You know what they say, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

You can spend time trying to get your ex back.  If you are going to go down this route, you need to know the following things:

·    Don’t pester your ex – when your boyfriend break up with you, it meant that you have more limited access to him.  So don’t text him multiple times a day or call him a lot.

·    It’s okay to flirt with other guys in his presence.  It may even make him want you back more.

·    When you do get back together for a “trial date” be cheerful and friendly but don’t pressure him for more than he can handle.

But, if you have a feeling in your gut that the relationship is over when your boyfriend break up with you, then you need to start moving on.

One of the first things you can do after your boyfriend break up is to sit down and write a long letter to him pouring out your heart.  You can talk about the good times and bad.  You can tell him what a jerk he is and call him all sorts of names.  But, don’t mail the letter!  Instead, take a candle out and burn it.  This is one of the best ways to get closure after a boyfriend break up.

The next thing you need to do is do a property exchange.  Give him back the t-shirt that you love to sleep in.  Get the econ textbook you lent him.  If there are things like toothbrushes that are too trivial to exchange, throw them away.  Don’t have anything around that reminds you of him.  If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being.  If you have any money issues to resolve like debts to the other or a joint checking account, get them sorted out.

After you have completed the property exchange, agree that you won’t have any communication for 30 days.  This may be hard if you are used to seeing each other on a daily basis, but after a boyfriend break up it is necessary to give yourself some space and distance.

It hurts a lot when a boyfriend break up with you.  But it isn’t the end of your life.  You can even look at it as a good thing because it means that you are now free to meet your true soul mate.

Of course, you shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that just because you’ve gone through a boyfriend break up that all of the doors are firmly shut.  If you think you have a shot of winning him back and that’s something you want, you should by all means take the opportunity to do so.

True love can even survive a boyfriend break up.

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

He Dumped Me. How Will I Ever Survive?

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

If you are saying “he dumped me.  How will I ever survive?” mere words in an article will not give you comfort.  It may help to know that while you’ve broken up, you are not a broken person.

When you’ve been in the position that “he dumped me,” you have two fears.  The first is that you will never recover from the pain.  The second is that no one will ever love you again.

Take heart, dear.  The fear is real.  The pain is real.  But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world.  While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.

You still have friends and family who care about you.  In fact, you now have more time to spend with them.  Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life.  You now have a chance to reconnect with them.

In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you.  When you say, “he dumped me,” that allows them to be vulnerable about how they’ve been hurt.  You will begin to see that your pain is not unique.  You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.

In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life.  Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your boyfriend isn’t interested in them.  This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.

If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby!  No, really, when you say “he dumped me,” what you tell yourself is that you are worthless.  When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.

There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with.  The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop.  For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors.  A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life.  A writer’s workshop will be filled with creative types.

As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you.  You will make new friends who share a common interest.  And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.

The truth is that you will find someone to date again.  Your soul mate is out there.

Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.

And, always remember, the best revenge when “he dumped me” is moving on!

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

« Older Entries