Archive for the ‘Articles for Her’ Category

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

Getting an Ex Back When You Were the One Who Dumped Him

Tuesday, January 5th, 2010

Getting an ex back is hard if you were the one being dumped.  But imagine how you would feel if you were the one who did the dumping?  That is the position that Aimee found herself in and she had to go about getting an ex back.

Aimee’s so called friend Renee told her that her boyfriend Jaime had been sleeping with another woman.  Without verifying the information or even asking Jaime about it, Aimee confronted Jaime and accused him of having an affair.  This took Jaime by complete surprise because he had no inkling that the rumor was circulating, and he didn’t do a good job of defending himself.  Aimee unceremoniously dumped him.

A few days later, Aimee found out that Renee had been lying for her own jealous, petty reasons.  Now Aimee was in a quandary.  Getting an ex back was important to her, but she also wanted to save face.

Aimee called up Jaime and explained what had happened.  But Jaime was in no mood to take her back.  Aimee had hurt him by not trusting him and not even talking things over with him.

Getting an ex back took all of Aimee’s wiles.

First of all, Aimee wrote Jaime a long letter of apology.  She took responsibility for what happened and promised that it would never happen again.  She reminded Jaime that they had a long history together and that they had shared some beautiful times.  She said that she didn’t want to throw all of that away.  She told him that the reason she acted the way she did was because she loved him and couldn’t stand the though of his being with another woman.  The thought of losing him forever was painful.

After she had mailed the letter, she didn’t bother him with constant texts or phone calls.  She figured that getting an ex back after a situation like this one required that she give Jaime his space.

When she did run into Jaime, she was as nice as she could be.  She worked positive memories into the conversation casually.  She didn’t apologize any further though.  She had told him both in person and in writing that she was sorry and let it go at that.

One day, Aimee got tickets for Jaime’s favorite band which was in town for one concert only.  She asked Jaime to go with her “just as friends.”  In this way, she opened the door to a future relationship without crowding him.

Getting an ex back after you have behaved badly and dumped him is difficult.  Not only do you have the embarrassment of having to apologize, but you almost have to start from scratch again on the relationship.  Rebuilding the trust is a key component in this period.

Jaime and Aimee did eventually get back together.  Jaime came to see that Aimee’s outburst was the act of a jealous woman who deeply loved him.  He saw it as a mistake that they could both grow from.  Their relationship became stronger than ever.

Aimee took the right approach to getting an ex back.

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

Can You And Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

Tuesday, January 5th, 2010

If you’ve broken up, you probably wonder can you and your boyfriend get back together? Sadly, there’s no one right answer to that question. It depends a lot on you and your boyfriend, and the dynamic of your relationship. If you wonder can you and your boyfriend get back together, you may want to speak to a counselor and let them evaluate your situation.

Marriage and couple counselors have heard all sorts of problems and sorts of reasons from both the husbands and wives. They’re experienced in dealing with these sorts of conflicts and may be able to help you. If you ask them, should me and my boyfriend get back together? you might be surprised at their answer.

The goal of marriage and couple counselors is to save relationships. Unfortunately, many of these programs aren’t that good at really diagnosing the problem. If either half of the couple lies, it makes it even more difficult for them to treat you.

But once they get to the bottom of things, you might be surprised how accurate they are. And since their goal is to help you handle your relationship, the word divorce isn’t thrown around. If you go to counseling talking about divorce it might come up. Or if they really feel that you’re in a dangerous or destructive relationship.

But for the most part, their aim is to keep you together or get you back together in a way that you can both be happy. The hardest part of you and your boyfriend get back together will probably be getting him to go to the counseling in the first place.

The good news is that he doesn’t actually have to go. You can decide to go to couple counseling on your own. It might not be as effective, but it does a couple of very good things for you when you’re trying to get back together.

First, it shows him that you’re serious. If he won’t go and you opt to without him, then it seems to him that you’re really trying hard to change something about your relationship. Why else would you go alone to a session meant for two people?

Second, you can learn some important tips and techniques in counseling that you can start putting to use right away. Just because he’s not going to counseling that doesn’t mean that you can’t improve the relationship by leaps and bounds.

You’ll learn communication skills and persuasion skills that can make a real difference in how the two of you relate to each other. And if he sees you going to counseling and better able to handle yourself in general without getting angry with him, that could actually prompt him to decide to go, too.

You have to set the example and hope he follows if you’re the only that will voluntarily go. Whether you and your boyfriend get back together or not, you will have benefited personally from the skills you learned in counseling so it’s definitely worth going.

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

Boyfriend Break Up. Is It Possible to Get Ex Back?

Sunday, December 13th, 2009

Did your boyfriend break up with you?  This is a rough time in your life.  You are probably hurting and want to know what caused your boyfriend break up.

First of all, while you can use this time to look at yourself and where you are in your life, don’t do too much introspection.  The truth behind why your boyfriend break up with you is that he had his own issues.  You know what they say, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

You can spend time trying to get your ex back.  If you are going to go down this route, you need to know the following things:

·    Don’t pester your ex – when your boyfriend break up with you, it meant that you have more limited access to him.  So don’t text him multiple times a day or call him a lot.

·    It’s okay to flirt with other guys in his presence.  It may even make him want you back more.

·    When you do get back together for a “trial date” be cheerful and friendly but don’t pressure him for more than he can handle.

But, if you have a feeling in your gut that the relationship is over when your boyfriend break up with you, then you need to start moving on.

One of the first things you can do after your boyfriend break up is to sit down and write a long letter to him pouring out your heart.  You can talk about the good times and bad.  You can tell him what a jerk he is and call him all sorts of names.  But, don’t mail the letter!  Instead, take a candle out and burn it.  This is one of the best ways to get closure after a boyfriend break up.

The next thing you need to do is do a property exchange.  Give him back the t-shirt that you love to sleep in.  Get the econ textbook you lent him.  If there are things like toothbrushes that are too trivial to exchange, throw them away.  Don’t have anything around that reminds you of him.  If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being.  If you have any money issues to resolve like debts to the other or a joint checking account, get them sorted out.

After you have completed the property exchange, agree that you won’t have any communication for 30 days.  This may be hard if you are used to seeing each other on a daily basis, but after a boyfriend break up it is necessary to give yourself some space and distance.

It hurts a lot when a boyfriend break up with you.  But it isn’t the end of your life.  You can even look at it as a good thing because it means that you are now free to meet your true soul mate.

Of course, you shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that just because you’ve gone through a boyfriend break up that all of the doors are firmly shut.  If you think you have a shot of winning him back and that’s something you want, you should by all means take the opportunity to do so.

True love can even survive a boyfriend break up.

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

He Dumped Me. How Will I Ever Survive?

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

If you are saying “he dumped me.  How will I ever survive?” mere words in an article will not give you comfort.  It may help to know that while you’ve broken up, you are not a broken person.

When you’ve been in the position that “he dumped me,” you have two fears.  The first is that you will never recover from the pain.  The second is that no one will ever love you again.

Take heart, dear.  The fear is real.  The pain is real.  But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world.  While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.

You still have friends and family who care about you.  In fact, you now have more time to spend with them.  Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life.  You now have a chance to reconnect with them.

In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you.  When you say, “he dumped me,” that allows them to be vulnerable about how they’ve been hurt.  You will begin to see that your pain is not unique.  You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.

In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life.  Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your boyfriend isn’t interested in them.  This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.

If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby!  No, really, when you say “he dumped me,” what you tell yourself is that you are worthless.  When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.

There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with.  The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop.  For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors.  A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life.  A writer’s workshop will be filled with creative types.

As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you.  You will make new friends who share a common interest.  And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.

The truth is that you will find someone to date again.  Your soul mate is out there.

Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.

And, always remember, the best revenge when “he dumped me” is moving on!

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

How to Get Over Guy – The Steps for Moving On

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

Are you having trouble get over guy?  Whether he dumped you or you broke up with him, letting go of someone who you had a close relationship is very difficult.  There is a space in your heart as well as a space in your life that are not quickly filled with anything or anyone else.  Yet, people do get over a relationship.  Here are five steps to get over guy you still like.

First, you need to let out the hurt.  Know that it is okay to cry when you are trying to get over guy.  Some people keep a journal of their experiences because writing about the pain helps.

One thing that I have seen some people do that is very effective is to write a long letter about the relationship to their ex boyfriend.  Talk about the good times and bad.  Talk about the relationship and how he hurt you.  Let it all out.  When you have finished the letter, burn it.  That’s right.  Don’t even think about sending it to your ex.  Instead, let flames consume the letter.  That provides excellent closure to the relationship.

Next, you have to decide that the relationship is really over.  If you hold on to the thought that he will change and come back to you, you will never get over guy and move on.

Do something that symbolizes the finality of the end of the relationship.  A good example of this is to exchange all of the personal property that you have of the other’s.  Don’t even keep the oversized t-shirt of his that is so comfortable for sleeping in.  And, if there are things to minor to exchange (like a toothbrush), throw them away.  Clear your place of all of his things.  It is a way of clearing him from your life.

You need to depend on your friends through this time.  Until you meet your husband, guys will come and go, but your girlfriends are forever.  If you have been in a hot and heavy relationship, you may have inadvertently ignored your friends for a time.  Not only will your girls help you get over guy, but reconnecting will be good for your social life.

Also, your girlfriends will have had similar experiences to your break up.  Sharing their pain will help you understand that, however bad the hurt you are experiencing, others have survived and you will too.

You will probably have extra time on your hands now that you have broken up.  You used to spend a lot of time with your ex.  Use this time productively to get over guy.  Go to the gym and get your body in shape.  Take up a new hobby.

One of the best things you can do during this period is to join a group or a class.  Not only does a class take up the time you would have spent with your ex, but it also introduces you to a new circle of friends.

And, that brings me to my last point, when you want to get over guy, the best thing you can do is move on.  Between your old friends, the new friends you make in your class or hobby, and the activities you do to fill up your time, you will emerge as a new person.

Moving on is the best way to get over guy.

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

Get Guy Back – A Gals Guide to Making Up

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

How do you get guy back?  How do you convince him that what the two of you had together was special?  This is your “get guy back” gal’s guide to making up.

First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault.  If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere.  If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed.  Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating.  The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon.  But the fault lies in both party’s laps.

Given that, it is important to forgive and forget.  True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident.  You never bring it up again.  You never let it cloud your relationship.  If you cannot do this, you won’t get guy back for any period of time.

If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it.  Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment.  You’re not Britney Spears.  It’s not cute.  When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing.  Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get guy back.

Be prepared to chase him a little bit.  This doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text messages or stalking him, but you have got to show him that you are still interested if you want to get guy back.  You can’t expect him to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship.  Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.

You may have to settle for something less than you wanted.  It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend.  It may take time to rebuild the trust.  If this is the case, you need to give him the space he needs to get to know you again.  Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually get guy back.

Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy.  Sometimes, you just have to move on.  If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships.  While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you.  Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there.  Get guy back may stop you from meeting him!

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

Tips and Techniques to Get Ex Boyfriend Back

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

Do you want to get ex boyfriend back?  Are you reeling from his desire to call the relationship quits?  Do you have an empty place in your heart – and in your life – where he used to be? Here are some tips and techniques to get ex boyfriend back.

First of all, whatever you do, don’t chase him.  This means lay off the texts, the phone calls, and the stalking.  Don’t just show up where he happens to be.  This stalking behavior will just turn him off.  He’s got to want to come back to you, not the other way around.  That’s the only way to get ex boyfriend back.

Instead of pursuing him, start to work on you.  In order to get ex boyfriend back, you need to become a more positive person.  You probably have many negative emotions right now including loss and hurt.  You need to purge these feelings and get back on a positive note.

One way to do this is to write a long letter to your boyfriend talking about all of the good times you had, all of the hurts you experienced, and all of the things you wished you had told him.  Once you have poured your heart out on paper, burn the letter.  That’s right.  Whatever you do, DON’T SEND THE LETTER.  Instead, light a match and watch the flame consume the paper.  This will give you some closure to that portion of the relationship.

After you have burned the letter, eliminate all negativity from your life.  Don’t let your girlfriends talk badly about your ex.  And, to the extent possible, be positive about your whole life.

When you do think about the relationship, remember what made it strong.  Think about the good times you had.  If you do occasionally talk to your ex, bring up the positive experiences and avoid fighting about the issues that ended it.  If you want to get ex boyfriend back, you have to remind him what was good about the relationship.

To this end, focus your energy working on your strengths.  For instance, if your boyfriend always praised you on being a good cook, take a gourmet cooking class.  Get even better at the things you are good at.

But don’t neglect your weaknesses either.  If your ex complained about how you were a slob, start picking things around the house.  Make an effort to become a better person if you want to get ex boyfriend back.

Finally, you should be available – to him and others.  If someone asks you out on a date, accept it.  You don’t have to be head over heals in love with a guy to go out to dinner with him.

As your ex sees you as a desirable catch, he’s going to want to get back into your life.  By focusing on the positive and working on your strengths and weaknesses, you are sure to get ex boyfriend back.

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

When You Have An Ex Boyfriend To Get Back

Friday, December 4th, 2009

If you have an ex boyfriend to get back, you might have already tried several things to get him to come back to you.  You might have begged, pleaded, promised to change your ways, and even gone so far as to break up a new relationship he might be having. It’s important to remember at all times how you appear to him.  It’s going to be hard to get him back if you look childish or scheming.

Try to think of any behaviors like that you’ve displayed since you broke up, and stop them now. Whatever you’ve been doing obviously isn’t working or you’d be back together already.  If you’ve been following him around and showing up everywhere he appears out with friends or on a date, your behavior probably seems more like that of a stalker than someone who loves him. When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, things you’re doing to convince him to be with you might be the things that are keeping him away.

Next time you end up in the same place together, whether it’s a restaurant or a club, when you walk in and see him, do acknowledge him.  But instead of going up to him and demanding his attention as you might have done before, simply say hello and go about your business in another part of the room, or explain that since he’s there, you’ll leave to make him more comfortable. Be nice and polite and simply go.  If nothing else, the change in your behavior will get him thinking.

When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, doing what isn’t expected is important if you’ve been trying unsuccessfully for a while.  If you’ve been calling him 10 times a day, or even 3, stop.  Call when you really need something, not just to rehash why he should take you back.  If you don’t have reason to call, then simply don’t call.  After a week or so, give him a call just to say hello and that you were thinking about him.  Ask if he’s doing all right, and a few simple questions like that.

If he starts to sound suspicious wanting to know why you really called and acting as if all this niceness is just a prelude to your usual behavior, just assure him you called because you missed him and wanted to check in on him.  Then say goodbye and end the call on a good note.  When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, you want him to wonder at the end of such a conversation. He’ll wonder why you didn’t beg or plead as usual, and what’s going on.

If you’re less comfortable with calling for such a thing, mail him a card that simply says you’re thinking about him.  It’s important to give him the chance to make a move.  When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, you can’t smother him with attention and affection but instead let him come after you.

Tags: ,
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

Where Did I Go Wrong?

Friday, December 4th, 2009

So, after dating “Mr. Right” for several months, you thought you had found your “forever man,” your “knight in shining armor.” You loved the same food, laughed at the same jokes and were great together in bed. You were positive he was going to say the “L” word at any moment. Then, suddenly, he stopped calling. At first you were shocked, then sad and then angry. You can’t believe you were so naïve, so easy. And you can’t stop replaying the whole scenario in your mind and asking what went wrong? What should you have done differently? And most of all, how could he do this to you?

You try to remember your last date, the last time you made love and the last conversation. You continue to ask yourself over and over, “was I too needy, were my breasts too small, or my thighs too big? Was I not a good enough lover, not attentive enough, too old or too young?” And on and on until you think you may be going insane.

You call your girlfriends and hash it over and over until you just can’t stand yourself anymore, and your girlfriends are tired of hearing about it too. But all of you agree that it wasn’t you. You are beautiful, smart and funny. So, if it wasn’t you, then the issues must have been with him. Yes, he must have some sort of psychological issues, or perhaps he is a drug addict. Maybe the Mafia is after him, or he’s gay. Yes, that must be it. After all, he seemed so sensitive and he enjoyed romantic movies, didn’t he? Then you decide he’s not gay, so it must have been that he was married and separated from his wife. Yes, married with three children who needed him.

You call your girlfriends back to go over these new scenarios, over and over and over. If he’s not married, you discuss the possibilities of trying to get him back. Should you call him, show up at his work or follow him?

You decide not to give in because you desperately want him back, or at least want to know why he dumped you. You continue to devise plans to get him back but nothing seems to be working. If only you knew what to do.

If this is your situation, then you are fortunate, because now you can learn exactly what to do to bring your man back into your life. Bob Grant, L.P.C., has written a powerful e-book “How Do I Get Him Back”, that will show you exactly how to act, when to call and what he’s thinking while you are apart. Follow his plan to the letter and you’ll have him back in your life, guaranteed. You can find this plan by simply clicking here.

Tags: ,
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | 1 Comment »

Why Doesn’t He Love Me Anymore?

Friday, December 4th, 2009

The man of your dreams, the love of your life, just walked out the door and you have no idea why.
Somewhere between the main course and the dessert, he had a change of heart.
The two of you were madly in love and planning to get married within the next year, but now he’s gone.
Although you had noticed a change in his demeanor over the last few months, you chalked it up to his stressful job and the long hours he spent at the office. He used to be such a positive person, but recently he had become extremely critical of everything you said and did. The man you knew, the happy-go-lucky individual you fell in love with, seemingly changed overnight. Suddenly, it felt as if you were living with a total stranger.

And then, with no explanation, he walked out the door, saying only that “it was over.” The following week, while you were at work, he came over and collected his things, and you haven’t heard from him since. You feel as if a part of you has died and that you’ll never heal because there has been no closure. You just cannot understand why he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, tell you the truth about why he left. Anything would be better than him just walking away with no explanation. After all, doesn’t he owe you at least that much?

Of course you continue to wrack your brain trying to understand what it is that you did to make him turn away from you. You promise yourself you won’t chase him, plead, beg or even contact him. However, after several days, you miss him so much that you just want to hear his voice, even if it’s just his voicemail message. But you can’t control your feelings and when you hear his message, you break down crying and beg him to call you. When he doesn’t call you back, you start calling his family and friends who seem nervous and won’t say much except that he’s okay and that he just needs some space. They tell you to be patient, yet waiting seems like the hardest thing to do.

What you need is a plan. Thankfully just such a plan exists and it’s available at www.howdoIgethimback.com. But you need to know that time is of the essence. If you wait too long, your relationship could be over for good and you’ll never know what might have been. You don’t have to just wait, when you could start your plan by clicking here . . .

Tags:
Posted in Articles, Articles for Her | No Comments »

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »